Move over Beijing, here comes Mumbai!!! The recently concluded Beijing Olympics got so much hype that even people who are generally disinterested in sports were heard raving about Abhinav Bindra, Vijendar Kumar and company. However, what is even more interesting is that we Mumbaiites are at par or at times even better than some of the best Olympians in history. The only thing is that we have never realized this and hence have not thought of giving it an honor of an Olympics. So today after realizing this here’s a version of what a Railway Olympics in Mumbai would look like, if ever we have the fortune of having one.
Please Note:
1) The categories have been tailored to suit the activities performed before, during and after one has boarded and alighted the train.
2) There are no bifurcations between Central, Harbor and Western lines made as we Mumbaiites believe in “United we stand, Divided we fall” philosophy which is true in the literal sense also considering the situations in which we travel.
3) Categories are separate for Men and Women.
4) No bifurcations between First and second class. (Please ask the Railways if they are able to distinguish between the two in today’s times)
5) The winners were kind enough to share their secrets of being the Masters of Railway Olympics.
Category: Fastest Sprint into the coach
Mr. Ram Deo from Andheri for his sheer ability to BOARD a train from Andheri and still manage to get in first.
“ The only reason for my success has been the rigorous training provided to me by my dad who used to take me to Virar station every morning at 8.30 to practice three months before I started my work at Andheri. Compared to that, this win for Andheri looks like a piece of Jumbo vada paav. It’s that easy.”
Miss. Sushila Kumar from Virar, for her pin point accuracy of jumping into the train exactly 7 seconds before it completely halts and thus be awarded the luxury of a window seat.
“I was not fortunate enough to have a training program, whatever I have learnt and wherever I am today is only because of the number of failures I have faced in terms of losing a job, running late for an appointment or a date, missing the beginning of a movie due to my inability to board a train on time. The failures have truly proved to be the stepping stones of my success…I also…” at this point we had to snatch the mic away from her as we had other interviews too. Do all the Westerners have an incorrigible urge to go on talking???
Category: Strongest Sustainability
Mr. Sheikh from Kalyan for his ability to hold on to the handle bars of the coach from Kalyan to Dadar without flinching an inch.
ERROR: Oops! The above medal was won by MRS. Sheikh and not Mr. Sheikh, an error on the part of the railways in failing to recognize Mrs. Sheikh due to the muscles developed thanks to her years of travel on the Central line.
Mrs. Sheikh was too irate to give us a few sound bites, and even though we managed to capture a few we don’t think those are the kind one would like to hear. (Psst…for a sample of the kind of “sound” we are talking about, kindly travel in the second class compartment of a rush-hour train)
Category: Finest Balance
Mr. Harish Kumar from Belapur for display of fine “balancing act” on the foot board and maintaining the same till he reaches Wadala.
“I have always been considered as a balanced person. One who balances his work and fun, his friends and family, his wife and girlfrie…oops…ya so basically I am a truly balanced person in life which is why I have managed this feet…I mean feat”
Mrs. Shanta Dave from Ulhasnagar for managing a heavy work bag, two shopping bags and still being able to stand and alight impeccably despite wearing a sari.
“The sari…sorry…the sorry state of our local trains never deterred me from indulging myself into a healthy dose of retail therapy. My definite focus and also a little bit of training in ballet as a kid has made me the kind of person I am today. In fact, I have also enrolled my 5 years old daughter in the same ballet class. After all, now she has a tradition to maintain” concludes a beaming Mrs. Dave.
Category: Fastest alight
Mr. Ravi Choudhary of Kurla for alighting 30 seconds before the train halts. A very competitive standard set by him for generations to come.
“After having to bear the cost of not being able to alight due to being pushed back into the train and having to pay a fine three times, I said to myself enough is enough and made a steely resolve to alight before anyone does thus setting a high standard for myself and others” says a smug Ravi who is of the belief that his record won’t be broken for the next 5 years at least. (We seriously DOUBT this)
Miss. Roopa Iyer of Sion for managing a 10 seconds gap before the train halts. Unfortunately, she was not available to comment as she sprinted off the station before we could manage to catch her.
This is just a sneak-peak into the kind of ordeal we Mumbaikars face every single day. The ability to mock ourselves over this nightmarish situation truly testifies the real Mumbai spirit.
Please Note:
1) The categories have been tailored to suit the activities performed before, during and after one has boarded and alighted the train.
2) There are no bifurcations between Central, Harbor and Western lines made as we Mumbaiites believe in “United we stand, Divided we fall” philosophy which is true in the literal sense also considering the situations in which we travel.
3) Categories are separate for Men and Women.
4) No bifurcations between First and second class. (Please ask the Railways if they are able to distinguish between the two in today’s times)
5) The winners were kind enough to share their secrets of being the Masters of Railway Olympics.
Category: Fastest Sprint into the coach
Mr. Ram Deo from Andheri for his sheer ability to BOARD a train from Andheri and still manage to get in first.
“ The only reason for my success has been the rigorous training provided to me by my dad who used to take me to Virar station every morning at 8.30 to practice three months before I started my work at Andheri. Compared to that, this win for Andheri looks like a piece of Jumbo vada paav. It’s that easy.”
Miss. Sushila Kumar from Virar, for her pin point accuracy of jumping into the train exactly 7 seconds before it completely halts and thus be awarded the luxury of a window seat.
“I was not fortunate enough to have a training program, whatever I have learnt and wherever I am today is only because of the number of failures I have faced in terms of losing a job, running late for an appointment or a date, missing the beginning of a movie due to my inability to board a train on time. The failures have truly proved to be the stepping stones of my success…I also…” at this point we had to snatch the mic away from her as we had other interviews too. Do all the Westerners have an incorrigible urge to go on talking???
Category: Strongest Sustainability
Mr. Sheikh from Kalyan for his ability to hold on to the handle bars of the coach from Kalyan to Dadar without flinching an inch.
ERROR: Oops! The above medal was won by MRS. Sheikh and not Mr. Sheikh, an error on the part of the railways in failing to recognize Mrs. Sheikh due to the muscles developed thanks to her years of travel on the Central line.
Mrs. Sheikh was too irate to give us a few sound bites, and even though we managed to capture a few we don’t think those are the kind one would like to hear. (Psst…for a sample of the kind of “sound” we are talking about, kindly travel in the second class compartment of a rush-hour train)
Category: Finest Balance
Mr. Harish Kumar from Belapur for display of fine “balancing act” on the foot board and maintaining the same till he reaches Wadala.
“I have always been considered as a balanced person. One who balances his work and fun, his friends and family, his wife and girlfrie…oops…ya so basically I am a truly balanced person in life which is why I have managed this feet…I mean feat”
Mrs. Shanta Dave from Ulhasnagar for managing a heavy work bag, two shopping bags and still being able to stand and alight impeccably despite wearing a sari.
“The sari…sorry…the sorry state of our local trains never deterred me from indulging myself into a healthy dose of retail therapy. My definite focus and also a little bit of training in ballet as a kid has made me the kind of person I am today. In fact, I have also enrolled my 5 years old daughter in the same ballet class. After all, now she has a tradition to maintain” concludes a beaming Mrs. Dave.
Category: Fastest alight
Mr. Ravi Choudhary of Kurla for alighting 30 seconds before the train halts. A very competitive standard set by him for generations to come.
“After having to bear the cost of not being able to alight due to being pushed back into the train and having to pay a fine three times, I said to myself enough is enough and made a steely resolve to alight before anyone does thus setting a high standard for myself and others” says a smug Ravi who is of the belief that his record won’t be broken for the next 5 years at least. (We seriously DOUBT this)
Miss. Roopa Iyer of Sion for managing a 10 seconds gap before the train halts. Unfortunately, she was not available to comment as she sprinted off the station before we could manage to catch her.
This is just a sneak-peak into the kind of ordeal we Mumbaikars face every single day. The ability to mock ourselves over this nightmarish situation truly testifies the real Mumbai spirit.
13 comments:
Madame, u totally missed interviewing Yours Truly, I am a medalist for 5 years running for High Jump (ofc jumping into trains), 100 mtrs sprint (getting in and out of the station) and Wrestling (getting off the train)..And since i got my laptop, i've bcum a serious contender for Weight Lifting too... And let me tell you, like in other sports where there is no govt support, The Railway Olympics are a success only thanks to the govt and if it wasnt for the govt, such budding athletes and sportspersons would never have recognised their true potential.... And i would like to thank..
(hey, who took away the mic???)
oooh.... I am Inspired... There is an Olympics in Smita's head too...
Where her thoughts run wild, her imagination takes wild leaps, ideas wrestle with each other, her language ka teer never misses its mark... and she comes out as a winner... and she would like to thank...
(hey.. wat is ur prob.. why do u keep taking away the mic??)
heyyyyyyyy delhitieess r not too far behindd 8)
lets hv a show of mettle sometimee ;)
wht sayy :p
all in all....brilliant observation 8)
(my only curiosity...is there any one special she observes?? ;) )
:D
Smita...a platinum medal goes to u...for observing so much while travelling by train and writing a nice post...
2nd medal goes to jo...for winning 'talkathon' in Railway Olympics..
Do one thing....Laalu has also his own blog...put this post as a comment on it...
Hey Smita,
I was just exploring that commenting on a blog is a pretty easy thing to do!!
But no it isn't. You can easily praise what u like n crticize what u dont. Thats perception!!
First of all, kudos to you for the good work.
Secondly, Its gud that u r being proactive enough in writng these days. (Specially wid such a busy schedule).
And Finally,
Do what gives u a CREATIVE SATISFACTION.
Hoping to see more of your masterpieces here.
Helloz...here I am, the late-lateef in giving comments to your articles. But hey!! even I was busy participating in railway olympics!! ;)
What an observation, Smita!! Now I realize your thought process when you are huffing and puffing to board/alight the train all the while talking to me on the phone!! (you deserve an award for that.) Who knew such a feat shall give birth to a witty and marvellous peice of writing that everone in Mumbai can relate to.
I don't think I need to tell you to keep writing 'coz it looks like your creative juices are flowing in a full flow!! ;)
The article was strictly okay.
I mean there was no need to dive deeply(just like phelps did)in the olympics.but i was really struggling(er..mayb wrestling)like sushilkumar to make my way between those tough words.But yeah it was a great shot(er or mayb pot-shot) or a bindraite shot that you've taken to make daily commuting a real sense.And hey you can really box down your crtics with some vijender punch(ya..he looks good too..):)..ya critics like me..hahaha..
Post script:-i thought rushme will be the only person to hang out at your blog..but i was really surprised to see so many..good job & goodluck.. :)
i think i know "Mr. Harish Kumar from Belapur" ;)
hmm.. specially liked the Mr & Mrs Sheikh bit and the "sari state of our local trains".
but u forgot that i deserved a medal for running all the way from home to the station (ok, maybe that's a slight exaggeration!!) to catch the 7.15 everyday.
Good one, smita...
Looks like you are leaving a trail of disgruntled participants of Railway olympics who haven't been awarded for their performance in ur article!! ;)
u mentioned the sheikhs and choudharys but you forgot the jo s & garimas & rashmis & rahuls of this competition!! :P
Madam,
The blog is really great and your characters in the blog are funny and i can realise from whom someof them have been inspired ....it was a great reading experience and great detailing ...keep writing
hey smi,
frankly SpEaking, I was not aware about ur this side of creativity which is highly commendable. Hats off 2 u 4 dis amazing work.Lage raho......next when ????????
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